One principle that applies to self-achievement is cooperation. Your willingness to work harmoniously with others is more important for your success than any other quality. People love to work with people who are willing because it makes everything flow smoothly. Be part of the solution not part of the problem. Be the kind of a person who is highly cooperative and you will experience magic in your relationships.
2. Do the Unexpected
One really helpful principle that can be applied to self-achievement is the element of surprise. The element of surprise says, “do the unexpected!” When you do the unexpected, you make people think differently about you. This means you continually seek ways that will improve others perception and opinion about you.
3. Do the Opposite
Sometimes doing exactly the opposite of what you have been doing up until now will really make people take notice. Our tendency as humans, when we find ourselves in a hole, is to dig deeper. In other words, we fight to be right. If you want people to take notice of your behavior, stop being right.
4. Follow-up and Follow-through
When you tell someone that you are going to do something, go to every extent to do it. If for some legitimate reason you cannot follow through, call them immediately and tell them the situation. The same goes for follow up. Your word is all you have and it is your reputation that is at stake. People give opportunity to people they trust and every time you follow up and follow through, you are building trust.
5. Create Relationships with Key People
A key part of self-achievement thinking is for you to identify the people, groups and organizations you must have relationships with in order to achieve your personal and professional goals. It’s not who you know, it’s who knows you. Are you worthy of their trust? Make a thorough list and then organize the list in order of importance. Write down your plan. Ask yourself, what must I do to earn their trust and respect? Then set out to make it real.
6. Be the Answer To Everyone's Favorite Question
Everybody wants to know, “what’s in it for me?” As a self-achievement advocate you always look for ways to assist others in achieving their goals. You become the silent observer, you figure out what other people need and then find a way to give that to them. It may be as simple as an encouraging word, a recommendation or a solution that you can provide. You will be looked upon as a problem solver and as you do that, you increase your value to that person or organization.
Deliberate Self-Achievement Actions
Here are two things you can do today to implement these ideas in your personal and professional life:
First, look at your relationships, especially areas where you are frustrated. Look to see if there is a completely different way of approaching your situation. It’s okay to freak people out, so do something positive and unexpected. Instead of disagreeing with their idea or plan, find a way to agree and then make it even better. That will blow their mind! All success comes from surprising people in some way. If you are normally resistant, become cooperative. Be a giver not a taker.
Second, identify the people, groups and organizations whose assistance you will need to achieve your goal. Continually look for ways to earn their support and cooperation by thinking in terms of what is in it for them.
If you want to be even smarter than you are now, if you want
everyone to love you, if you want to be an exceptional communicator or thought
of as an affectionate person…really start to listen to people and actually hear
what they are saying.
There are few things in life, which will help you more than
being a listener.
Not listening to people is the best way to show them they
are a Nobody. When you deliberately listen to people, they will feel like a Somebody
Remember, there is no such thing as being a good listener or
getting better at listening. You either listen to people or you don’t…its black and
white like that.
Working on yourself means to be a deliberate listener. Show people that you are listening with your words and your body language.
If you want your friends and people in your life to be infinitely supportive and hopelessly in love with you then show them they are a somebody.
The strongest, most common and natural quality of all humans
is the desire to feel and be important to other people. This quality is so
powerful it makes people do everything they do in their life whether it is good
or bad behavior.
The more you show people they are a somebody to you, the more
they will respond to you. Everybody wants to be a somebody and nobody wants to be a nobody. When you talk down to or ignore people, they feel like a nobody. When
you talk up to people and engage with them, they feel like a somebody.
Always keep in mind that to
the other person, they are just as important to themselves as you are to
yourself. Showing people they are important to you is the foundational secret of all healthy
human relationships. It is the most powerful skill that you can develop.
When people are talking to you, look at them. Every person you
want to make feel important is worth listening to and worth looking at. Listen
as if you do not want to miss a single word they are saying. Listening
deliberately means to do it and show it consciously and intentionally.
2. Ask Engaging Questions
This shows people that you are listening. You have to
show people you are interested. Look at them (don’t stare) and ask them
engaging questions. An engaging question is an open question that helps people
to talk about how they feel or think about something. Asking engaging questions
is a very high form of flattery. Flattery in this case is not about boosting someone’s
ego or manipulating them. Your #sincerity or insincerity will always come
through your words, your tonality and your body language whether you are aware
of it or not.
Engaging questions help you and the other person feel connected to each other.
3. Keep to the Topic
One of the worst things you can do is to change subjects on
a person. If want an even bigger influence on people, do not interrupt them no
matter how anxious you get to change topics.
4. Speak in the First Person
When you talk about you, it is proper use “I, me, my, mine”
and that is talking, not listening. When you are listening and asking engaging
questions use “you” e.g. How did you do that? What did you do that was so
exciting? Who was with you? Why did you think it was exciting? Where are you going
next time? What are your plans for next week? If you always talk about all the
things you like e.g. What’s exciting to me is…, Where I’m going next time is…,
the other person will be less interested and feel less important.
Working on yourself means looking at people, asking them engaging questions, staying on topic and speaking in the first person.
The strongest, most common and natural quality of all humans is the craving to feel and be important. This quality is so powerful it makes people do everything they do in their life whether it is good or bad.
The more you make (we cannot make anyone feel anything yet we have a huge influence) people feel important, the more they will respond to you. Everybody wants to be somebody and nobody wants to be nobody. When you talk down to or ignore people, they feel like a nobody.
Always keep in mind that to the other person, they are just as important to themselves as you are to yourself. Making people feel important is the foundation of all successful human relationships.
How to Make People Feel Important
If you want to be even more intelligent, better liked, a better communicator or thought of as affectionate person, listen to people and hear what they are saying. There are few things in life, which will help you more than being a listener.
Not listening to people is the best way to make them feel unimportant and make them feel like a nobody. When you listen to people, they will feel important and they will feel like a somebody to you.
Remember, there is no such thing as being a good listener or being better at listening, you either listen to people or you don’t. You have to be a deliberate listener.